We are thankful that we were not up at 4 a.m. today in order to stand in line at one store in order to get out of that store by 4:45 a.m. in order get to store No. 2 by 5 a.m., and so on until we dropped. We suppose Starbucks could step in and save us somewhere in the black hole between 6 and 7, but honestly, we’d rather be in bed.

If you are one of the amazing souls that hit the stores this morning, we salute you. You are probably taking a nap right about now, happy in the knowledge that you have filled your Christmas list with things that said “40% off before 9 a.m.” But if, like us, you are a bit of a slacker, you can still accomplish amazing things online. Most of the major stores have online specials today, and some sweeten the deal with free shipping.

Here’s a guide to black-Friday shopping without alarm clocks, traffic or crowds:

We worship Bloomingdale’s anyway, but check this out: They have sale merchandise with an extra 40 percent off, and through Sunday, if you spend $250 or more, you get a $50 gift card. The extra sale categories include women’s, men’s and kids’ wear, plus jewelry. That gets these Michael Kors fringed boots from $249 down to $150 (above right),  this infant girls’ Ralph Lauren cashmere cable sweater from $150 down to $90, and this Nicole Miller turtleneck poncho from $195 to $117 (above left). There - you’ve earned your gift card already!

Macy’s has 25,000 things on sale today, and while we aren’t going to count them ourselves, we can vouch for the fact that everything we clicked on had a 25%-50% off sale price. Also, with the coupon code GOBBLE, if you spend $99, most everything you order will ship free. Calvin Klein’s wing-collar wrap coat, originally $275, was on sale for $164 and is now $140 (above left). This adorable DKNYC short sweater dress is $112 down from $149, and Liz Claiborne’s tiger-print Courtney tote went from $200 to $80 to $70 online (above right). Wild.

Neiman Marcus’ Thanksgiving sale offers extra discounts today of 30 percent to 40 percent, which gets some prices down to 60 percent off. They also have 30 percent off all holiday décor, and 33 percent off all their bedding, including their sale bedding (and if you’ve browsed Neiman’s gorgeous linens, you know what a deal that is). Crazy things happen, like with these side-zip patent leather booties: originally $1,070, sale price $717, but they’re $502 today. The luscious Presidio bed linens, originally $75 to $560, are $50 to $362 (above left),  and this men’s striped V-neck sweater has gone from $235 to $137 already; with today’s discount, it’s just $110 (above right).

Not to be outdone, Saks Fifth Avenue sale prices this weekend are up to 70 percent off on designer selections. That gets you Dolce & Gabbana’s little black gabardine dress, usually $2,495, for $748; Christian Louboutin’s yoyo slingbacks, usually $825, for $495, and a Cristophle place card holder set, usually $195, for $68.

Why is the usually A-list Nordstrom sitting way down here? Because while they’re offering free shipping on orders over $100 (promo code HOLIDAY08), they apparently didn’t think we need an extra discount on top of that. Ha! They are wrong! Their ordinary sale category, however, has discounts up to 40 percent off, which means Missoni’s colorblock Nuola dress is $1,249 instead of $2,095 (above), and Kate Spade’s continental wallet can be had for $147 instead of $245 (above). It’s still worth a look.

Kohl’s gets to be here with the big boys today. They not only understand that we’re shopping online, they gave us a special time clock for those of us still in our jammies. Their brick-and-mortar stores opened at 4 a.m. and run until 1 p.m., but their online specials started at 1 a.m. and run until 4 p.m. And for every $50 spent, you earn $10 in Kohl’s cash, which earns you a sweater or a pair of jeans pretty quickly.  And shipping is free if you spend $100. They have earlybird discounts ranging from 25 percent to 50 percent on clothing, toys and home décor, which means this Simply Vera Vera Wang pleated crop jacket is $49 (down from $98, above left), this rugby-striped hoodie is $19 instead of $48, and this High School Musical digital camera is $20 (down from $40, above right). Merry merry!