If you’re reading this today, it can only mean one thing: You’re in the doghouse. You screwed it up, and now you’re looking to make amends. You are sooooo lucky, because The Style Insider is here to dig you out. Get the plastic out - this will cost more than it would have the first time around, but it’ll be worth it. We promise.

What were you thinking? This is Christmas. She bought you cashmere and tracked down the perfect retro hubcaps on eBay for your precious, precious vehicle, and you bought her a CD? There’s an

inequity here that’s going to grow to epic proportions unless you fix it, and fast. We recommend getting her the coolest iPod there is - a 32-gig iPod Touch ($399, above), and telling her that part of the gift is loading all her favorite music on it. We hope that the CD you gave her at least makes it into that category, or you might want to skip down to the “Unless you want to hear about it forever” category, below.

You gave him what? Ok, now we need to go in reverse. He’s the one that showered you with unbelievable presents, and you’re the slacker who gave him a subscription to Sports Illustrated and a scarf. We suggest two things. First, buy him Sony’s 8” widescreen portable DVD from Circuit City ($180, above left), and be sure to point out that he can watch it anywhere. Then add in the complete Indiana Jones Adventure Collection ($60, above right) at Amazon.com, and volunteer to spend all day in bed watching it with him. It’ll work like a charm, and we doubt he’ll even remember the Last Crusade.

Hmmm. You blew it with the sticky size issue. We admire you for trying, but honestly, it’s a no-win situation. Do you buy her the small size and risk having it be too small, or do you buy the larger size and risk being accused of overestimating her, uh, presence in the world? We just don’t go there. If you did, and it backfired, we offer this emergency plan: Handbags. They are one-size-fits-all  in the most marvelous of ways. Your watchwords are Prada, Marc Jacobs, Coach and Donna Karan; personally, The Insider is grooving on this little Chloe Paddington satchel right now at Nordstrom ($1,585, above).

Never, ever forget the in-laws. How long have you been together now? And you forgot whom?  Oh dear. The repercussions could be massive unless we pull a bit of magic out of our hat. And here it is: Personal Creations’ family tree marble tile, with a verse about the importance of family that they’ll know you’ll remember forevermore ($30, above left). If you’re really in deep, perhaps you need to splurge for the Dinner of the Month Club, which gives them 12 opportunities to forgive you this year (You choose the amount).

And unless you want to hear about it forever: Let’s just say you veered toward the vacuum cleaner or dishwasher side of things. We are so sorry, and we have only two words for you: tennis bracelet. We’re particularly loving this one from Neiman Marcus, which has a little over 2 carats set in 18K white gold ($10,680, above). And yes, it’s pricey, but it’s a game changer, which is what you need. Do you really want to still be hearing about this in July?

No.

We thought not.

Merry merry.